Teenager with Anger Problems

Parent To Parent

Teenagers and Anger

One mother writes:

My son is 16 years and will be 17 in 5 months.

I am trying to find some kind of help for him and I don't know if a psychologist is the answer. He has a terrible anger management problem and does't meet up to his real potential. For example in school he underachieves and even without studying or turning in much homework he still manages to pass by a thread, and in sports he in an excellent athletic but has just given up on all of it. I am sure this is due to the fact of certain frustrations that have happened in school and athletics and I just don't know how to get him to tame his anger, frustration, and to gain his confidence back!! I don't really think he has ADHD I just think he needs some help sorting all this stuff out.

Thea

Some reader's responses:

Please skip the psychologist until you've eliminated all physical causes. I'm a 40 year old female and I lived in hell for almost 30 years because I thought I could talk the problem away. I've got temporal lobe epilepsy - no outright seizures but plenty of progressive misery (ADD is part of the deal).Get the boy a brain scan & a competent MD. I don't know where you live, but try calling Dr. Peter Mueller in Princeton NJ. He is well known & specializes in aggressive hard to solve cases. Chances are he knows someone in your area who can help. Phone number (609)924-4061. The man gave be back my life.

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Thea

He's a teenager. Hormones are raging, he wants to be an adult, but isn't, and the list is endless. If this anger thing is new, he probably doesn't have ADHD. He is probably dealing with something he isn't telling you about....possibly a girlfriend or new kinds of friends. Find out. Be nosy and annoying and know what your child is into. You didn't mention a dad in this scenario. A positive male role model is imperitive in a young person's life. If he doesn't open up to you, find someone he can talk with.

Good luck

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My son has just turned 17. He was told he had ADD in 5th grade we did the meds for awhile without much help. He was on Ritalin and seen a psychologist for several years with lots of anger almost like he could turn it on at will. A year ago he ask for help with drug addiction during a fit of anger I was so totally taken by surprise. He was a freshman playing varsity football and playing the entire game. So we got help He was clean for a year and got into trouble and sent to DYS (still was clean) . now he is on Adderal for ADD and Guanfacine for impulse disorder. I really thought we had lost any hope for him but in 3mo he has become a focused, caring, controlling his anger (he gets angry but it is amazing) young man . I really didn't think he had ADD. Still it is hard to believe . I see the difference and I am impressed. He is happier and focused and looking forward to tomorrow with more confidence than ever. Not sure where this will lead but it is a hopeful tomorrow.

No one can tell you what to do and no two are alike but with prayer and patience he will get thru.

Bonsue